JON.

WHOA GUYS I'M SO GLAD THIS XANGA CAUGHT ON

WHOA

Oh well.  I bet about three of you are going to read this.  Congratulations, you're now part of our secret clubhouse.  We call it Get Rid Of Slimy Progressive Boink Kicks Ass (G.R.O.S.S.)

Our first order of business is to give Nick demerits for kissing a girl.

Our second order of business is to listen to Jon bitch.  This week I work 68 hours.  The only reason it isn't more is because I get Christmas day off.  I was going to have to work then, too, but then Baby Jesus gave me a gun and told me to take Christmas off and to shoot anyone who got in my way.  I shot the mailman. 

I feel terrible.  He didn't deserve to get shot.  But it's been an unjustifiably-shooting-people-in-the-neck kind of week, and it's only going to get worse. I'm just going to get up, work for 13 hours, go home, dick around on the Internet for a while, and go to sleep.  It's a hollow existence.  I feel like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man.  I'm going to turn invisible and feel up your boobs.  Bye!

ps i am drunk.

beer lol

Currently Playing White Ladder By David Gray see related

JON.

This is my first Xanga entry.  When B told me that we got a Xanga, I said, "What the fuck?  What am I going to do with a Xanga?"  But later I found out that he was talking about an online journal rather than an exercise bike with a built-in compass, and all was right again.

I worked at the Shack today for about ten hours.  Some lady called me a goddamn idiot because I was unable to defy the laws of audio/video connectivity science to solve the problem she was having.  When I first started this job two years ago, stuff like that would have bent me out of shape, but since then I've grown so used to getting that shit on a fairly regular basis that I don't really give a shit anymore.  After all, it builds character.  Sort of in the sense, I imagine, that getting shot in the neck would build character.  I bet Tony Almeida would be the best RadioShack employee ever.

Currently Playing Just Enough Education to Perform By Stereophonics see related

I'm starting to think that being an Internet Celebirty™ isn't all it's cracked up to be. 

You get the satisfaction of entertaining people and having girls write things on their boobs for you without having to sacrifice your personal life or have to do 200 press junkets a day.  The downside of this is the validation of confidence;  you do these things and they give you the idea that you can do something extraordinary with your life, when you're just doing the exact same thing that any fat person with a neckbeard and long hair can do.  I could just post porn on a weekly basis and put a bunch of links to pictures of people eating their own poop under the two and a half paragraphs and get the same response.  Probably more.  Probably?  Twenty-thousand times more.

I'm kidding about "internet celebrity."  But I imagine that even celebrities have these problems sometimes.  Like Russell Crowe getting shot down when he hit on Thora Birch.  I write books for a living and like to collect wrestling masks.  Russell Crowe is a MASTER and COMMANDER on the FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD.  The man has stabbed Jaoquin Phoenix to death.  I could maybe stab Rain Phoenix to death.  But I'd gag when I had to see the armpit hair.

I'm just feeling confidence-free today, wondering if I should wish and try for the things I really want in life or just resign to the fact that I've got more to offer than a lot of people and should just take what I should get.

FUN FACT: I have an abnormally high body temperature and can only hold my breath underwater for about thirty seconds thanks to lung damage as a kid.  What I'm trying to say is that Namor would kick my ass but I'd smoke the fucking Human Torch.

Currently Watching Rhapsody in August By Sachiko Murase see related

HAT IN THE WORLD

This is the Progressive Boink Xanga.

When you go over to Ken Ober's house for a upperclass white people party, he has this sitting on his table and you get SO INTO IT and then everybody else gets SO INTO IT, and then Ken Ober wanders over and fucks everything up.

TODAY'S FUN FACT: In the song "Walking In Memphis," singer/songwriter Mark Cohen doesn't say "walking with my feet ten feet off a pier," like everybody thinks he does. He says "walking with my feet ten feet Jessica Biel." Mark Cohen knew even then that Jessica Biel would grow to monstrous proportions and destroy us.

SEE YOU TAMARRY 

Currently Watching Panda Go Panda see related